Yesterday I picked up this distress call:
"This is all that is left of the runner bean of joy. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO IT. It was in a tub full of green shoots.. THEY HAVE ALL BEEN MASSACRED. I can only imagine by either a) aliens or b) someone who hates me."
The "runner bean of joy" was no ordinary runner bean. Named with affection, it had been a birthday present to my good friend Sarah, veteran of many a festival and gig and music musing. A young seedling nurtured in Bristol, and safely carried across the border to Cardiff way back in May, it made its first public appearance...in a cool bar. Yes, this bean was destined for great things handling celebrity status with assurance and charming those in its presence.
Paul, 28, from Cardiff, and seen here bonding with the bean, was inconsolable at the news "It's not right, this can't be, he was an inspiration to me, made me appreciate there's more to this world than crazy nights out in 'Diff."
Bev, a socialite from North London remarked "Working as an influential women in the media, I often come across chancers and wanabees trying to make an impression at events, but this bean was the real deal, he could have had any girl he wanted. And even some of the boys."
She was not wrong:
It's clear this was a professional job. Not a shred of evidence was left. Someone, or something had it in for the runner bean of joy. Someone, was jealous.
Here's a picture taken only two weeks ago showing the bean on holiday.
Sarah is devastated. Local investigators are at a loss and we're calling for anyone who may be able to help identify what happened and who might have done this?
Runner beans don't just die.
4 comments:
It could almost drive you to chemical killers!
Does it have siblings who could . . . not exactly take its place . . . but be a kind of consolation during bereavement?
Esther
Sadly all it's siblings remained in Bristol and are now flourishing, unable to make the journey over the border. Sarah says she may try again in future, when she's ready...
Found you on Blotanical (hi)... and I think it's a serial killer (though it could be slugs). I'm in Wales - Snowdonia, though - and it may be a Welsh problem because I've lost two of my four. Never happened before.
Obviously getting your bean over the border was not enough. If a contract is out, a contract is out. Your bean, he sleeps with the fishes. And my beans.
Beangenie, that did make me laugh - welcome to the blog and thank you for commenting on this heinous crime. My friend Sarah shares your pain and one can only hope this assassin/slug is apprehended soon before more beans are taken out
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