Pop! It won't eat itself.

Previously on 33...


Read me


The following takes place between 5pm and 6pm


So. The moment.


How can it be that what takes some of you barely a flick of your eyelashes to pop them into your shopping basket, takes me months of preparation, mental and practical?


I have reaped a bumper harvest this afternoon. A colourful array of fruit and vegetables to give me all the pleasure I need without touching 'the red beast'.

But this is about one fruit and one fruit alone. They stand out don't they. Like poisonous berries.  It's time...

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First up. Raw.

Oh god it's vile. It's just burst and the juice has poured forth.  Its the sudden impact of the taste - exactly that which makes me recoil when unexpectedly hit  one in a soggy Pret sandwiches.  Concentrated, dirty bitter flesh.


To me, it feels wrong to be subjecting my mouth to this, and like anyone with doubts of that nature, I'm not going to swallow.

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But I don't give up lightly. I'm all for new experiences. I'm going to take on the advice of others and have a back up.... right, mozzarella and basil lined up. A drizzle of oil and we're ready to go again.

Ok,  this time I've survived the ordeal. In fact, it wasn't so bad with the combination of flavours, and the strength of the basil keeping the tomato at bay. But its lingering. I need a drink. Hmmm, I'm not going to be craving any more of that in a hurry, and I think I know why.


This tomato is an immature version of the bog standard 'gardener's delight' variety. The standard large red brute that sits arrogantly in supermarket aisles up and down the country. Due to a faulty summer, the tomato wasn't able to grow it's normal size and came up short. 


And you don't want to eat something with Short Tomato Syndrome. It tries to make up for its failings which seems to bring out its worst elements. Pretending it has class that it doesn't. My guess is that the green cherry tomatoes that I hope will ripen will be an altogether different experience. Lets hope so, because alas that really was disgusting.