Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Rogue trader

Having wowed you with the first rogue for a while, here are two more. And your reaction to these will reveal more than you may perhaps want to admit...

Collector's items

Unfortunately we're talking the type of collection that only the collector understands. Yes, stamp collectors, train spotters, and growers of only one type of flower, you have kindred spirit in ceramic animal enthusiasts (ooo, that sounds very wrong). For the recent converts to growing your own there's a simple way to determine if it is your destiny to become such a collector. Just take my personality test:

You fancy a trip to the garden centre and you head for
a) The small but independent place where gentle folk won’t try the hard sell but will know everything about how to care for alpine plants.
b) That all-you-could-ever-want-in-your-garden behemoth off the M5, that has a pirate ship to leave the kids in whilst you admire the barbeques
c) The slightly off-the-wall place, with an American theme but amaaaazing cakes.

Once at the garden centre you
a)  Head straight for the ‘what to grow now’ and admire the range of seeds from specialist providers
b) Head straight to the summer house display, grabbing a handful of Mr Fothergills as you storm past the seed packets.
c) Head straight for the ceramic animals

Mostly a’s? You’re focused and conscientious but out of touch with modern capitalist society. 
Mostly b’s? You thrive on modern capitalist society and those who mock you can do so in envy of (and peering into) your brand new summer house. 
Mostly c’s? You probably own one these:

Discovered by Bristol food blogger Sam Evans (@Samfraggle) at the Chief's Trading Post Garden Centre just outside Bristol, here are some examples of taking a Gnome habit to a whole new level. "Why yes, that's an elephant in my garden. I call him Trunks. He's good at keeping the cats out but he's a bugger with the fruit trees, can't leave them alone" Sam has assured me that she goes for the top notch cakes and her boyfriend is passionate about the gardening, meaning that they merely have a passing curiousity in these delights, rather than a trolly full! Do check out Sam's great and ever-growing culinary tour of Bristol, including the rather epic list of foodie havens linked to the recent Gorilla invasion of Brizzle.

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The Hapless Kitchen Gardener

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I only feel hapless because some people make it look easy to grow 10 ft marrows or a banquet of greens whereas my courgettes got nabbed by killer slugs and I only got one raspberry. So tips and stories from people less hapless than I are more than welcome. As a disclaimer though, none of my comments should be taken as expert advice on which you can rely! © Unless stated otherwise, and with the exception of guest content where that guest retains copyright, all photos and posts are the copyright of Tom Carpen and may not be used without permission.